The Inner Source Digest – Unit: 12

March 1958
Issue: 12
EMRE’s Conversations: 12

The notes which can be saved from Emre’s conversation at 10.03.1956 and 10.10.1957 upon the request of telling the memories during his asceticism experience:

Emre – I was 21 years old working at depot of Bozantı – Halep – Nuseybin and extention railways. Asceticizm is ordered and I stopped to eat and drink and began a hunger cure without a definite end. I must say that this is not an unnecessary action. Actually it is scientific. The human body is greater than all of the universe containing everything including the animal natures. The spiritual eye of one can’t be open unless casting out of them.

In the meantime I handed in my family to God; because He knows and makes better than me. He is The Ar-Razzaq (feeder) of the universe. Develioğlu said : “ There is no way other than death; you must die “ but he didn’t explain what death means. I wondered how can a man die? I thought it is possible through starvation. Then I started hunger. My aim was to die.

After 15–20 days, although I ate nothing, dysentery began with blooding from the colon. The railway doctor came and gave an injection of emetine but I became worse. They send me to the National Hospital and I stayed there inevitably. It took two years. Ayşe was crying. We decided not to tell anyone this state. Only Ayşe and my aunt knew. The others believed that I was sick.

We were poor also. We were staying in a double flat barrack. I was staying downside. Ayşe was in bad condition. During five, six months I ate nothing other than the pickle beside bread. Surely I couldn’t go to the job. There was a manager of depot whose name is Maji. He used to bring half of the monthly income saying that “Zmayil, this is is your money. “

How weird is this mind… I want to die but also fear of it. I used to say Ayşe : “If I would die, package me in a plastic bag and put in the container. Then inform smith Hüseyin. “ I thought Hüseyin would inform Develioğlu, and then he would come and recall me to life. Because he used to say “in order to rise you must die.“ Ayşe ran away to the upstairs because of her fear. She was watching me how to die from the holes which she drilled by means of the red-hot skewers.

After a while monsieur Maji wrote a french letter and send me to Dr. Has working at American hospital. Dr. Has said that “I will heal you in a week”. I was not dealing with cure. Wherever I go, regularly I was dealing with Develioğlu. I thought that everything, everybody is from God.

Dr. Has was a humane person. He tried to heal me. But I didn’t took the pills,  poured the rice mashes down the window and put the hardtacks into the cupboard.  

There manifested such states in very beautiful realm of pleasure… When there was no one dealing with me, in deep silence an observation used to occur. If someone didn’t touch, I even didn’t tend to wiggle. Such a pleasure… When I opened my eyes, everything was obvious when I close them, it was such a different realm.

Someday I felt myrtle smell in my nose. It is similar to the hanbelez fruit of Adana but the weed type of it. It has a nice taste. There are black and white types of them which cover all forests. The fields needs to be cleaned but its root resists and again gives fruit. It smells so nice.

In the realm of observation there was a myrtle crop which is taller than the human. While I was watching the myrtle bush, then the field of myrtle started to wave. I thought someone is coming. The myrtle field was truncated like a wall. Then someone came who had a white dress. He was so humble looking at my face suppliantly. He was barefoot. He was begging in spiritual language;  “That’s enough, you made me deprived of food and water.” Then I realized that it was my own self! I said “no way, I decided to kill you; I don’t approve you.”  When I said that, he grimaced and lost his hope, he melted, flew and all the waves disappeared.

While I was in this realm, someone touched to my shoulder and I opened my eye: he was blind İbrahim from Dârende. He was kissing my eye and face. Surely the observation disappeared. He said “when I thought you, the world was full of myrtle smell, I found you by means of this smell. “

There was a late Armenian girl named Gülenye. She came and asked me “ my brother from where did this man came; does he have a permit from doctor? “ Then she send him.

When I closed my eye, again myrtle field occured. In the middle of field a path (which is proper for two people) is opened, Develioğlu came. In spiritual language he said  “well done my boy! It must have been in this way. If you would like that ego, I wouldn’t come !” During that moment somehow I said him “I wish to see Yunus Emre…” ; then the state is disappearred. I realized that two person is coming slowly from a distance. I lost my patience. At the end they came near to me, they were Develioğlu and some other person. Develioğlu held the left arm of the other person with his right hand. Then I understood that he was Yunus Emre. Yunus Emre greeted me with his head. He came near to me one or two step and went back. He didn’t went unless I said “ok sir, I’ve seen”. When I understood this, I was so upset and said to myself :   “you are so coward to make such a man like Yunus Emre come near to you… It was better to be healtier to go near to him.“  While they were going back, I woke up with the voice of Dr. Has:

—İsmail, what are you thinking?

Then he said regrettably;

—We couldn’t care you clearly, for this reason you couldn’t heal.

I misunderstood and said:

—No, they cared me clearly; even they washed me, they cleared my mess.

He laughed,

     —Not in this meaning, we gave you meal; for this reason diarrhoea didn’t stop.

—I didn’t eat them…

—How?

—Look!

I said then I showed him rice mashes which I poured down the window and the hardtacks which I put into the cupboard.  

—Oh… What did you do?

Doctor looked at my face faraway and thoughtful then asked:

—Did you eat nothing?

—I was drinking a cup of tea at midnight.

—Who brought?

—Allah (God) send, Gülenye brought. She was asking me “ which one do you prefer milk or tea? “ I was saying tea. I don’t know from where it came.

Doctor looked at the signboard and said:

—Tea isn’t written in there.

—Allah (God) writes and brings.

Dr. Has started to think. During this time I thought nothing, no one including my family. I only thought my close friend smith Hüseyin.

I said doctor:

—If I couldn’t be healed, give me my clothes, let me clear my account and go.

—You didn’t eat; we couldn’t heal you; no need for Money.

When he said this, I realized that I also have no money even for a taxi. But I thought that      “I have no money but Hüseyin can give” . They brought my clothes and I dressed.

I ate nothing during my 22 days long stay but I was feeling so strong capable of flying. 

Gülenye brought my clothes they even were ironed.

In those times Armenians were left. There was a few Greeks. I departed the hospital on tuesday. I wanted to see Hüseyin who is the smith at  “Öte Geçe”.  I intended to go there. While I was going to Kuruköprü I arrived a place which is a museum nowadays. In those times, it was a church. Inside the corner, Greek children were playing. My mind whispered to me “if you are so light lets run to the church“ ! The other color of the mind said: “Are you crazy? If you run, won’t they send you up?” Another voice of my inner side said: “ Ok, you feel ashamed of being derided, isn’t it? “ Upon this, I ran to the church. The children neither saw nor deride me. I felt sorry. I wanted them deride as a punishment which corresponds to the ego which invading me.

I arrived the museum. I turned the street of New Cinema. When I go forward, I met a man who I know. But there was a woman at underarm of him. The woman seemed to have no weight. He was walking and at the same time kissing her. I thought that I lost my mind. Because the observations used to occur when I closed my eyes. But in this case, I could see them with my eyes open.

From there I came to the New Mosque. There was a smith he caught me. He insisted me to drink tea. I had no strenght to resist, so I sat down. He said, “ forgive me, I heard but couldn’t come. “ At the same time he was dealing with his job shoeing the back foot of the horse.

I said inside, “I wish he immersed in job and then I could go “ . I’ve seen that there was a room at his back. While he was doing his job, this room also was together up and down. Room was full of cocoon. Then I realized that I could able to see the thoughts of everyone. I said:

—Foreman Mehmet!

—What is it?

—What is your relation with cocoon?

—Don’t ask İsmail… I had some money. We tried to make a cocoon trade. We put them under the house of somebody. A while ago, the owner of house came and said “cocoons smell bad, remove them there.“ I think they had bath near to them so the cocoons were perished. I will go to see them now. “

From there I came Karasoku; there was a tailor named Ziya Mazlum, in this case, I caught by him. He was a good tailor who has a love for Develioğlu and his friends. He said “forgive me, I couldn’t come to you”. When I looked at his eyes, I could able to see inside of them. There was a mahr hanging over his neck; a Halep mahr. The crupper of mahr was on the neck and mahr was touching down his feet.

Ziya Mazlum was tea drinker because he was Irani originally. He was pushing me to drink tea; actually I wanted too. We went to the store, he lighted the samovar. At the same time he was cutting the cloth. The samovar of Ziya used to boil in 6 minutes. The coal used by him were made of the vineyard trunks. They used to light instantly. When water is boiled, Ziya Mazlum steeped the tea. But the mahr was hanging.  I asked him:

—What is your relation with mahr?

—We rented a vineyard this year. Someone brought a horse from Arabia. We bought it in order to come and go to the vineyard. When we removed its mahr we saw that its back is wounded.  I took it to master Saraç Halil; he said I can do it. But it is midafternoon but still he didn’t do it. Now I am coming from there; he will do it till to the evening. During this moment the mahr hanging over his neck, touched the glasses which he was trying to serve tea and they poured over the clothes.   

From there I arrived directly “Öte Geçe” . Hüseyin Efendi was crying and kissing my eyes and face. They used to call me Shah.  “Hey shah! Did you have meal?” he said. I sad “no”.  Hüseyin Efendi:

—I will make you eat a kebap.

—Don’t do it Hüseyin Effendi. I decided firmly not to eat, you know the subject…

—No way, you will eat a kebap.

There was a kebap cook at Öte Geçe, he also came and said:

—Wow İsmail has come! He said and started to kiss my eye and face. He brought a kebap instantly. I thought that should I eat or not? I decided to eat whatever even it is sin or good deed. I ate one and half sishes hardly. I knew it will give me trouble but what can I do, it is for my friend. We sat half an hour then the mood of inebriety started.   I wanted to go; Hüseyin Effendi said : “lets go together !” But he was smithing the horse. His job will continue till to the evening. I didn’t want to wait so long. Because if Ayşe couldn’t find me at the hospital, she would think me dead and cry blue murder.

Hüseyin Effendi, gave me a melon to bring home. He couldn’t guess how thin I am. Beside that he also gave a jug and shaked it with yellow tar. The tar is smeared to the jug. He said you will always drink water from this jug. I shouldered it also. He gave some money. I started to walk. There was neither a car nor something.  I thought that I could find some on my way but I came to Taşköprü by walking with such loadings.  I had a disturbance with headache and chest pain. Luckily, I met a coachman named Süleyman Ağa who is living near to us. He said wow! İsmail Effendi came! And took the watermelon and jug from me, put them in the car. I said “carry me to the home please”. He was continuously inquiring my health. But I couldn’t answer.  When we came in front of our home I fully lost myself. My aunt and Leylâ’s mother was also at home. They hugged me wailing because they thought me dead. My aunt and Ayşe was crying. The husband of sister-in-law also came.

When I woke up at midnight, they were waking me as though I am dead. My foot was swelling rapidly but I had a pleasure… I said them; don’t afraid, I won’t die. These are plesure. When I closed my eyes, I saw that my body is bigger than the world. Inside of me a lot of goats were spreading about. I even couldn’t stand their voices. I understood that the kebap which I ate was goat meat. I heard the voices of the goats 17 days long. After 17 days long full hunger and thirst I could be saved from those voices.

Then I begged God : “My God, please take this state from me, so I don’t want to see the inner side (mind) of anyone.“ Because if you see the errors of others without being mature, you will suffer torments together with them. Sure this is not the same after being mature.

After a while, they send me to the Âkıl Muhtar. He was the teacher of our railway doctor Sadi Rasim. I stayed there for a while. In Medical Faculty they used me for education.  One day Âkıl Muhtar put me on his car to take away to his home. He was so venerable, conscientious man. He had a lot of tools; he saw an injury at my colon. He decided to heal and said: “this is your home, don’t be shy “. I wanted to take two days off in order to tour İstanbul. When I went out, I saw Süleyman Agha who is the brother of Selim. He was together with the uncle of Fehim (who painted Yunus Emre which is in our home) and another person.  I got in tram, we hugged. I asked the news from Adana. They said “we will go there tomarrow”. Suddenly I also decided to go.  We sat and talked half an hour under the Karadeniz Hotel. I said them to wait me and went to the home of Âkıl Muhtar to take my suitcase. We came Haydarpaşa with pleasure. They were eating and saying to me to eat also. But I rejected.  

I came to life at train maybe because of the weather so I could carry my suitcase to home.    They asked me : “did you heal?” I said yes. They became glad. Ayşe said : “If so, drink a soup” I said “no, I don’t”. She started to cry : “You have the same madness, how did you healed? Why don’t you eat? “.

Monsieur Bartolo became Depot Manager after Monsieur Maji. He had 20–30 pigs. İbrahim’s father Yusuf have said Bartolo : “ Lets give us a pig to carve make İsmail eat in order to heal him.”  He said: 

—“Take all of them for İsmail!” It seems that, someone said this illness can be cured with pork. When Ayşe learned this, she aimed to make me eat pork. Ayşe was looking at the house of Bartolo continuously. During this time, a scream was heard; it belonged to a pig. Yusuf took the pig onto his shoulder; but when the pig shaked both of them have falled over. At the end, he brought the pig. I asked Yusuf:

—What’s that?

 —Dear my uncle, you need to eat pork and heal.

—My son, you know why I hunger. At least you don’t give me trouble. But who cares.

There was a herder of pigs named Parapanço. He lost one of his hands; there was a hook instead of it.  As soon as Parapanço inserted the skewer in the gap below its throat, the pig fell instantly. But there was no blood. All of the women at neighborhood came. They all have informed. I said “I won’t eat”  but no one neither understood nor listen.

They didn’t listen my words and I started to look them silly. Parapanço put a boiler and boiled the water.  After he poured the water onto the pig, its hairs were removed. I was watching him. He cut the head of pig, and abdomen, he set the lung apart. Then he turned to me and asked:

—May I take its head?

—Take all of it if you wish. Parapanço diced the meats and started to boil them. I said Ayşe:

—You are injuring and bothering me despite of your wish to make me a favor. She started to cry. My aunt also. I didn’t want to eat.  They said Parapanço: “Take them” ; he took. When I didn’t eat pork, they had informed Bartolo; he came and said:

—İsmail, my son, eat this. If you wish, I can give one more.

—No master, thank you. This was the idea of Osman the fireman.

Everybody came; they took a piece of pork as a favor to me. They said “take you too”. I took a picece as a favor to them. It was so tough, while chewing the bottom of my teeth bled.

—I said: “so, you saw” ; then I saved from that matter. After then they throw the knife and pot which they used.

—I said: “Why do you throw? Clean the knife and pot. Ok, if you think that was so dirty, why did you make me eat? “ But there was no eplanation.

After a year I was still in bed. Some day when I was feeding Hafize with sugar cheakpeas, I ate two of them and became so strong. These are the stories related with the outside, the inside realm surely can’t be told.

After a few days, I heard some conversations from downstairs. I looked from the hole, there was a fat Roman woman. She put her bag and sat; they were telling my trouble to her. Women said I can heal him. I said to myself :“ wait there comes another thing from here, be patient .” Woman said:

—“Find a turtle” she said.

Our house was at the backside of Depotcoal shed. There were all fields around. They all were looking for turtle together.  They brought a big turtle. There were 3-4 Greek house against us. They came also and said: where did you find it? It’s so nice. They envy the turtle. I took it amiss. I went down to watch. I wasn’t boring.  I was just sorry for Ayşe. She lived those states because of me. Her struggle and my aunt’s cry touched my heart. Roman woman said: we need to feed patient with the soup of turtle.  But Ayşe was crying because of her thought about my decision on not to eat. I said Ayşe “ real favor for me is not to eat” but she didn’t listen.  I said ok as a favor to her.

They were trying to cut the turtle but it was taking its head inside. The Greek neighbour uncle Vasil said: “we have a tool for this. You can’t do in this way” . He went to his house and came back with a tool in his hand. He bended the edge of an awl like a hook, and bended the helve in order to be able to hold. He hold the neck of turtle and pulled.   The neck of poor animal lengthened then they cut.  I drank the blood which is so salty.  I said Ayşe ; “look this is as a favor to you, I understood that this is also from God. “ I asked the Roman woman:

—Did God send you?

—Yes!

—Ok, what is next?

—You will eat its meat.

—Ok.

Uncle Vasil fired the coal quickly. He prepared the sish kebap from the turtle meat. I said the Roman woman:

—Despite whoever send you, I will not eat all of them.

—Ok, three pieces are enough.

God took it easy in this way. Because I didn’t want to be healed. My life path passes through those events, trials. I said Ayşe:

—Do you hear what she said?

Uncle Vasil, gave me little three pieces and I ate. It was so tasty dissolving like a fillet. Uncle Vasil watches with a desire. I said him:

—Lets you eat, your efforts aren’t for nothing. He and his wife ate with onion and bread.  They gave the Roman woman Money, she left full of joy. 

At sometime they made me eat snail. The wife of fireman Yusuf said:  

—He can be cured if he would eat snail.

We were sitting during the spring time. Ayşe and Bedriye were whispering. I understood that there is something. During a rainy day, she picked snails in her basket. When I went out, I saw that she was turning over the snails to the boiling water. After the animals poured into the water, strange voice was heard. Bedriye had a desire to eat. I wanted her to eat them. She was stirring them with fork. When they separated from their shell, she was saying : “ it’s ok” and then eating them. At the end they made me eat. It was so hard like a plastic.  I couldn’t chew but swallowed.

As a summary, this colon illness took exactly three years. Then it healed by itself.

Then a period came, I had tuberculosis. The blood came from my mouth.  This was just before I started to say revelations. At the same time I was trying to clean my mouth and to say revelation. But it was so gracious… Duran agha saw this period, he knows.

But I always wanted those states. Some time ago I was begging : “Oh my God, for the sake of the solution of my trouble, I consent to be run over with a car; to be swunged like Mansur; to have tuberculosis.” Thanks, God gave me what I wanted.

At times when I had tuberculosis and spitting blood, we had a house at Tepebağ. It was full every night. How could able to come so many people? Those times that period was the blossom forth of this tree of heaven. Now it is the time of bearing fruit. The tree blossoms hundreds of thousand flower in order to raise five or six hundreds of fruit. Some could able to be a fruit, the others fall into the earth.

Emre – Do Suphi say some psalm?

Here we introduce two revelation to our venerable readers which are related with subject.

Emre – Believe me, this path which we assumed as long as this, as hard as this has two steps actually. In first step you will give up the world, the second step is in there: Nothingness! Nothingness! Just Like what Doctor Sâim said.  Lets read the letter he send. How nice what he said.

 (When we send the book named “The New Yunus Emre and his Revelations” to our dear and late professor Sâim Ali Dilemre, we received the following letter from him. )

It is not so frequent to see the serious mode of Prof. Dr. Sâim Ali Dilemre as in this letter.  Actually he always used to take the events from their humorous side in his position in society, education,  even in political and formal subjects. This was related with his maturity which made us smile. His meaningful seriousness must come from his high level of understanding great mystic İsmail Emre. Beside that he wanted also to awake us.  

We offer the letter of valued professor to our readers:

My dear son,

I’ve received “The New Yunus Emre and his Revelations” book thankly. How did you understand that I am the lover of this great sufi?

When we look the density of this collection, it seems that there remains no secret for us from his lifetime to now. Surely it is an appreciated work of art. In our garland there is no other one in sufism like this senior dervish who has a deep and high spirit. He is more Turkish than Rumi (Mevlana) and has a savor of Anatolia with candid and intemerate character. The actual meaning of love and fire which he told frequently is the worldly nothingness. Indeed, is there anything which is more painful than the state of humanity?

I wonder “Is there someone who make fun of us?” But this is the big reality:  

(Dünyâ hîç, kâr-i dünyâ heme hîç. Ey hîç! Beray-i hîç mepîç!) * (Persian originally)

“World is nothingness. Wordly advantages are fully nothingness. So, you the human who is nothing do not struggle for nothing.”

You heartened me my dear son. Thank you again and hug you.

Known as Doctor Saim Ali (Dilemre)
Kadıköy
02.10.1952

EMRE’den Nükteler, Vecîzeler, İrticâli Cevaplar

* Emre – A human can’t become mad if he/she can say Allah(God) ! The ones who became mad are those who bonded to the fake sheiks. Because they aren’t absent in God and can’t know how to say Allah! (God) . Because of their lack of control their followers, they lead to those poor people going crazy. Actually the followers are more ready to proceed. But despite of their intent,  they can’t achive and go crazy because there is no one to lead them.

* Emre – Şeriat = Şeri at! (=throw the evil). Really sharia isn’t only the collection of rules and order. The real sharia is to be able to throw the evil from our ego.

* Emre – If a human don’t cognize and accept the right and truth in everywhere, he/she will burn in continuous torment.

* Emre – Everything can be explained, except this state of us. But it will be clear in time and affection.

The Sufic Explanation of Nasreddin Hodja Narratives

Will my bizarre head see Bağdat too?

Someday, someone requested from Hodja:

—You have the ability of expression; please write a letter for us.

—To where it will be posted?

—To Bagdat.

—Will my bizarre head see Bagdat too?

—Why do you need to go Bagdat?

—It’s so simple. Because no one can read my writing except me.

Explanation:

If we could able to understand the truth by reading the books, there would be no necessity for a guide. A student in primary school have been learned how to read.  But can he/she read and understand the books of high school? In order to learn, we surely need a teacher.

Hodja means here; “my words about the truth can’t be understood even if they reach Bagdad airucilarly or inscriptive. The only way to understand is my own explanation.”

In order to benefit, one must be in front of his/her tutor and feed by his/her eye and love.  Word or scripture is the photo of science. Does it same to see the photo and the owner of photo?

Same day we were sitting at the home of Nâil effendi. We had been just come from “Kaçkaç”. I was sitting at wooden bedstead behind of Develi. Every time he was making me sit behind him; maybe I was engaging him…

It was a good conversation: There were new comers. For a moment Develi turned to me : “If I say them “this is God” then they say “is he really? “ then they run away. They need to work hard for a while.” He said those words to me through the neck of a man near to him. After Develi left that man asked me: “What he said to you? “ I cognized that no one heard those words. I mean being in face to face is not also enough. There should occur love in order to understand his words.